The Natural Pregnancy Book by Aviva Jill Romm M.D

Author:Aviva Jill Romm, M.D. [Romm, Aviva Jill]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-80467-9
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
Published: 2011-08-17T04:00:00+00:00

Healing Tensions

If you are both committed to being together, you can learn skills that will enable you to integrate your differences and transcend the difficulties in order to create a vital, dynamic, committed loving relationship. The book by Jennifer Louden mentioned above has many creative ideas for improving communication, rejuvenating a relationship, and enhancing intimacy both sexually and in general.

The foundation of any marriage has to be two strong individuals who agree to be together because they love each other and enjoy each other’s company. Each of you must work on your own ability to be loving, compassionate, strong, caring, and sensitive. Then you can give love because you want to, without your entire sense of self resting upon your partner’s response. However, a healthy marriage must be mutually satisfying; if the responses you receive do not nurture you, this will not be a mutually happy situation.

A couple must be able to communicate their needs and expectations openly and truthfully. Both partners must feel free to express themselves and must be able to listen to the other with the heart. It is not fair to have expectations that are not expressed, then resent the other for not meeting these expectations. You cannot expect someone to read your mind, a common mistake that pregnant women make when they want their mates to anticipate their needs. It is fair, however, to expect your partner to see your needs as important, since you are carrying this child for both of you. How one expresses needs can also have an impact on whether they are heard. “Love, would you please rub my back” sounds vastly different than “Why don’t you ever offer me a back rub? You know I’m tired!” While an empathetic partner might respond lovingly to either message, the first is certainly more likely to elicit the desired response. Again, expressing messages clearly and from your loving heart is essential, especially if you want to be heard by a loving heart. “The Man’s Point of View,” a section later in this chapter, provides further insights on the importance of the father’s (or mate’s) role in the relationship during pregnancy, and should be read by both of you.

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